Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
And then he peed in my hair
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