He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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