so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
home. puking in laundry basket.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
