god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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