ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
