i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
