as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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