I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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