I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
