I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
