I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Two words: blizzard sex
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
