why im i the only drunk person in the library?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
