the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
