If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
