so that wasnt chicken after all
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
