If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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