Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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