Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
