I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
