What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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