Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
