Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize