Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
