she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize