and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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