i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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