We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
