Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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