Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
