I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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