We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
