Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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