I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
