I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
