are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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