I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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