'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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