honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
