Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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