everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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