i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.