if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
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Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives