i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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