I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
