i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
