He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
