What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
