guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize