i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
