Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
