it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
