I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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