and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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