I can tuck mytits in my pants
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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