im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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