Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
