I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
